Unitarian
Universalist Fellowship of Corvallis
Corvallis,
Oregon
The Soul’s Code: Who Am I?
Sunday, October 1, 2005
Rev. Gretchen Woods
Reading:
from The Soul’s
Code: In Search of Character and Calling
by James Hillman
The concept of this individualized soul-image has a long,
complicated history; its appearance in cultures is diverse and widespread and
the names for it are legion. Only our contemporary psychology and psychiatry
omit it from their textbooks. The study and therapy of the psyche in our
society ignore this factor, which other cultures regard as the kernel of
character and the repository of individual fate. The core subject of
psychology, psyche or soul, doesn’t get into the books supposedly dedicated to
its study and care.
I will be using many of the terms for this acorn – image,
character, fate, genius, calling, daimon, soul, destiny – rather
interchangeably, preferring one or another depending on the context. This
looser mode follows the style of other, often older cultures, which have a
better sense of this enigmatic force in human life than does our contemporary
psychology, which tends to narrow understanding of complex phenomena to
single-meaning definitions. We should not be afraid of these big nouns; they
are not hollow. They have been merely deserted and need rehabilitation.
These many words and names do not tell us what “it”
is, but they do confirm that it is. They also point to its
mysteriousness. We cannot know what exactly we are referring to because its
nature remains shadowy, revealing
itself mainly in hints, intuitions, whispers, and the sudden urges and oddities
that disturb your life and that we continue to call symptoms. (p. 10.)
Sermon:
“The Soul’s Code” Who Am I?”
James Hillman continues his meditation
on The Soul’s Code with this story:
Consider
this event. Amateur Night at the Harlem Opera House. A skinny, awkward
sixteen-year-old goes fearfully onstage. She is announced to the crowd: “The
next contestant is a young lady named Ella Fitzgerald. . . . Miss Fitzgerald
here is gonna dance for us. . . . Hold
it, hold it. Now what’s your problem, honey? . . . Correction, folks. Miss
Fitzgerald has changed her mind. She’s not gonna dance, she’s gonna sing . . .”
Ella Fitzgerald gave three encores and won first prize.
However, “she had meant to dance.”
Was it chance that suddenly changed her mind? Did a singing
gene suddenly kick in? Or might that moment have been an annunciation, calling
Ella Fitzgerald to her particular fate. (p. 11.)
This
concept fascinates me: that we are not only a collection of genes that
predispose us to certain skills and gifts, we also comprise a form of
energy/consciousness that is called to live a particular life that fulfills a
calling we may only dimly perceive.
Are you one
of the certain ones? Did you know from early in your life what your calling and
character is? Did you follow it? Or did the voices around you find a way to
drive you into the path they thought was best for you?
This Tuesday, we begin a two-part
exploration of James Hillman’s ideas in The Soul’s Code, so I am not going to
repeat that now. Today, I would like to explore with you some of the ways that
our lives take us away from our path, some of the ways we may find to return to
it, and how all this relates to true maturity
and what I call “radical responsibility.”
Before I do
that, though, I want to offer a further disclaimer from Jim Hillman that I
think is also worthy of our thought:
Despite
psychology’s reluctance to let individual fate into its field, psychology does
admit that we each have our own makeup, that each of us is definitely, even
defiantly, a unique individual. But when it comes to accounting for the spark
of uniqueness and the call that keeps us to it, psychology too is stumped. Its
analytical methods break down the puzzle of the individual into factors and
traits of personality, into types, complexes, and temperaments, attempting to
track the secret of individuality to substrata of brain matter and selfish
genes. More strict schools of psychology kick the question right out of the
lab, packing it off to parapsychology for the study of paranormal “callings,”
or to research stations in the distant colonies of magic, religion, and
madness. At its most bold, and most barren, psychology accounts for the
uniqueness of each by a hypothesis of random statistical chance.
I refuse to leave to the lab of psychology that sense of
individuality at the core of “me.” Nor will (I) accept that my strange and
precious human life is the result of statistical chance. Please note, however,
that these refusals do not therefore bury our heads in the folds of a church.
The call to an individual destiny is not an issue between faithless science and
unscientific faith. Individuality remains an issue for psychology – a
psychology that holds in its mind its prefix, “psyche,” and its premise, soul,
so that its mind can espouse its faith without institutional Religion and
practice its careful observation of phenomena without institutionalized
Science. The acorn theory moves nimbly down the middle between those two old contesting
dogmas, barking at each other through the ages and which Western thought fondly
keeps as pets. (p. 11.)
Whew!
Perhaps you will understand this tirade better, if you know that one of
Hillman’s books is entitled , One Hundred Years of Psychotherapy and the
World Is Getting Worse: this from a man who has dedicated his life to
bettering human beings through psychotherapy.
Still, I am
amazed how many people wind up in my office sometime between the ages of 35 and
55, driven by a free-floating sense of dis-satisfaction with themselves and
their lives. They ask me, “Who am I? What am I supposed to be doing with my
life? I know it is NOT what I am doing now.” As we explore these questions,
they often retrieve dreams from their childhood, some long forgotten, but never
gone. Some find a new direction they never considered before. But all seem driven, not by their experiences of
childhood, but by some inner daimon or genius that has not given up on the
“marching orders for this life.”
How can we
access this daimon, this acorn, this calling? First, we need to get into our
own bodies, into our own heads. You may not believe it, but you are entitled to
a safe space within your self, behind your eyes, where only you are allowed.
All others are invited in. Take a moment to become conscious of being behind
you eyes, in your head, looking out so that you can see the edges of your eye
sockets, your eyelashes, and your eyebrows. You could even create a little room
inside your head where you can keep your self safe.
As you are
doing this, you may hear all kinds of voices, or maybe one strong voice,
saying, “This is nuts!” Whose voice is that – and why is it so negative?
Remember this is only metaphor: a tool to open your inner knowing! I am willing
to bet that what you hear is a voice from your past that is invested in keeping
you on the current path they have given you. It could also be a voice of
fear that knows listening to your own voice will change your life, and doesn’t
want that to happen.
Which leads
me to the next part of this process: releasing contracts you have made with all
sorts of people about how and who you are supposed to be in this world. We have
contracts with our parents, our teachers, our children, and myriad other people
we don’t even remember. We have contracts with those who abused us, those who
demanded great things of us, those who benignly denied us any attention unless
we did what they wanted and needed. Our process is to listen to these voices,
come to understand who they are and why the contracts with them are no longer
valid for life to be the full, rich life it is meant to be.
Eventually
we begin to hear a small voice – or, perhaps, a raging voice, because it is
sick of being ignored – that lets you in on the dreams and desires of your
inner knowing, your psyche, your soul. This is your acorn, your calling. When
it speaks clearly, we may withdraw and refuse to accept its call, but at least
we will finally know what it is. Sometimes the demands seem so heavy that we
must withdraw and wait until we develop the strength and/or the skills to
fulfill this calling. This was so for Manolete, the matador who was small and
sickly and fearful as al child, but grew up to change the world in which he
worked. He had to spend time growing, but, eventually, calling has its way.
We may deny
this daimon all our lives, but the result is usually a sense of malaise and
disquietude. When we begin to accept calling and take steps to fulfill it, life
goes much more smoothly, in my experience. I did not find my calling until I
was 35. Then I allowed ten years to become a Unitarian Universalist minister. I
was done in less than five and found a congregation that needed me almost
immediately, even though I came into the settlement process very late in the
settlement cycle. This is the sort of
affirmation that arises in the life process when we are moving in synch with
our daimon.
I observe
something else Hillman does not address: who we are is a process, not an event,
so even when we find our calling, we continue to refine and expand upon it.
This goes on for one’s whole life. I believe it is also part of listening to
one’s calling: it is constantly adjusting to the events of one’s life. Two
years into my first ministry, I realized that I knew about theology, ethics,
religious education, and biblical studies, but I had no idea what was going on
among the people I was trying to serve. That led me to pursue a doctorate in
human systems, which may not be necessary for most ministers, but surely I
needed to provide decent ministry to people. Who we are is a process, not an
event. Another way to say this is that we are not beings, we are becomings, who
need not only to hear our inner voices, but to listen on a regular basis.
If we
respond to our calling, we step into a world in which we accept radical responsibility for our lives. We can
no longer blame our parents, our abusers, our children for the choices we make.
I think this is a sign of true maturity: that we now own our own lives and our
own choices. This does not assume that chance does not affect our lives. I do
not believe that a three-year-old has a choice about being raped. I do believe
that the day may come when that violence will not be the total story of that
child’s life; that his or her daimon will bring forward his or her power,
gifts, and talents, given half a chance and a good listen.
There is “radical
responsibility,” the ability to respond from one’s own knowing and one’s own
spirit or soul, rather than feeling it is necessary to respond from fears
derived from one’s past or demands made by others in one’s life. This is the
ability to bring to fruition in the world the best of what one has to give.
Most of us never fully achieve this, but starting cannot be a bad thing, unless
our daimon calls us to demonic behavior. That is the basis for a whole other
sermon, for which we don’t have time today.
I believe
choice and chance both affect our lives. And I believe we can make better
choices when we take and make time to hear our own inner voices speaking in
resonance with our Source. This offers us the opportunity to engage better in
the process of co-creating our lives with all the forces around us. It allows
us to hear the call toward “greater intensity and harmony,” and to respond with
the best we have to offer.
Mary Oliver writes of this process in her poem “The Journey:
One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice—
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
“Mend my life!”
each voice cried.
But you didn’t stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations,
though their melancholy
was terrible.
It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do—
determined to save
the only life you could save.
What a
blessing to our world!: to save your own life, to bring your best to the march
of time, moving with the forces for the greater good of all with respect,
responsibility, and relish for the process. In the end, that may also save our
world, if we do it together.
So Be It!
Blessed Be!
“The Soul’s Code: Who Am I?”
Sunday, October 1, 2005
9:30 and 11:00 a.m.
Welcome and Announcements
Prelude:
“The Marrakesh
Night Market” by Loreena McKennitt
Chalice Lighting
Opening Words
Opening Song
#188 “Come, Come,
Whoever You Are”
Sounding the Shofar
Sharing Time for all Ages
Candles of Joy and Sorrow for all Ages
Sung Response:
“Follow the Flame”
Follow the
flame to search for truth and meaning.
Reading : from The Soul’s Code by James Hillman
Celebrating with Music:
“The Two Trees” by
Loreena McKennitt
Sermon:
“The Soul’s Code:
Who Am I?”
Spoken Response
Offering and Offertory
Meditation
Closing Song:
#131 “Love Will
Guide Us” (verses 1 &2)
Closing Words
Closing Song
#131 (verse 3)