Opening Words:

“We Remember Them”

Adapted from Roland B. Gittelsohn

In the rising of the sun and in its going down, we remember them.

In the blowing of the wind and in the chill of winter, we remember them.

In the opening of buds and in the rebirth of spring, we remember them.

In the blueness of he sky and in the warmth of summer, we remember them.

In the rustling of leaves and in the beauty of autumn, we remember them.

In the beginning o the year and when it ends, we remember them.

When we are weary and in need of strength, we remember them.

When we are lost and sick at heart, we remember them.

When we have joys we yearn to share, we remember them.

So long as we live, they too shall live, for they are now a part of us, as we remember them.

Introduction:

While this is a Memorial Day service, it is not traditional. We will be examining how we may better respond to the process of dying, for those who are dying and for those who are family and friends.

Body:

How might we help another through the dying process:

1. Let them know that things change throughout the process. Nothing is static.

a. Like having a baby

b. Ease expectation

c. Become more flexible and fluid

2. Different types have different needs

a. Introverts—need more time alone

b. Extraverts need time with people

c. Family may be opposite to the person dying

d. From Ken Keyes: “Ask for what you want, but don’t demand”

3. Make time for important conversations

a. Don’t put off honesty

b. Remember that recurrence may go faster

c. Allow place for uncertainty

4. Places to look for help

a. Web sites—with medical components

b. Wish list of things to be done and password

c. Gatekeepers: keeping energy where it needs to be

How a caring community can help

1. Know that the circle must narrow and make space for that

2. Holding space that can be honor (gatekeepers, etc.)

3. Let person know they need NOT die alone

4. Training about what to say, do (next year)

5. Be open to cultural mix of most families: prayer OK

6. Doesn’t matter what is said, if said authentically

Conclusion:

We honor our loved ones in death. Let us also honor them in life by educating ourselves about how to be with one another through these difficult times.