Celebrate Sex: Our Whole Lives

April 13, 2003

The Rev. Gretchen Woods

Readings: from "Our Whole Lives"

The Components of Human Sexuality

1. Sensuality means accepting and enjoying your own body and its ability to respond sexually as well as enjoying the body and responsiveness of a sexual partner.

Sensuality has to do with our bodies - how we feel about the body, how it looks and feels, and what it can do. Sensuality involves being aware of and in touch with the pleasure our bodies can give us as well as others. . .

2. Intimacy is the basic human need to be emotionally close to another person and to have that closeness returned.

Intimacy focuses on our closeness to others in emotional terms while sensuality suggests a physical closeness. Relationships, which provide the vehicle for creating intimacy, give us a sense of belonging, connection, and affection. They can take the form of friendships, family relationships, or romantic relationships. Romantic relationships may or may not include sexual contact, and sexual behavior can happen without emotional connections but it is not nearly as fulfilling….

Sexual identity is a person's understanding of who they are sexually, including their sense of being male or female.

3. Sexual identity can be thought of as four different pieces of our sexuality that fit together to make one whole component. Although each is important in and of itself, the four components interact to affect how each persons sees himself or herself.

• Biological gender
• Gender identity
• Gender role
• Sexual orientation . . .

4. Reproduction and sexual health, the most familiar aspects of sexuality, include all the behaviors and attitudes that have to do with reproduction and keeping the sexual parts of the body healthy.

While sexuality is much more than sexual intercourse, it includes sexual intercourse and the human capacity to reproduce, even though many - the very young or very old, some gay men and lesbians, people who don't desire children, infertile couples - do not utilize that capacity….(pp. 32-33)

“I Like My Body” by e.e. cummings

i like my body when it is with your

body It is so quite new a thing.

muscles better and nerves more.

i like your body. i like what it does,

i like its hows. i like to feel the spine

of your body and its bones, and the trembling

-firm-smooth ness and which i will

again and again and again

kiss, i like kissing this and that of you,

i like,slowly stroking the,shocking fuzz

of your electric flesh….And eyes big love-crumbs,

and possibly i like the thrill

of under me you so quite new (p. 159)

Sermon: "Celebrate Sex: Our Whole Lives!"

I. INTRODUCTION:

A. Story of AYS (“About Your Sexuality”): written in 1960's; asked to preach on this every year

B. Puritanism still haunts us—

1) Bernard Rosenberg—The Sexual Revolution: Conquest of the last frontier, involving the efficient management and manipulation of reproductive organs for the purpose of establishing the New Puritanism.

2) UU's = guilt without sex

II. BODY:

A. Respect—

1) for one's self—know boundaries/ wants/ choices

a) clearly power from within and power with (Starhawk)

b) not power-over

2) for others—consequences of one's acts

B. Responsibility—

1) ability to respond: often blocked by experiences, expectations

2) physical nature: Karla McLaren calls "get your rocks off."

a) quote from Phillip Simmons in Learning to Fall

As for sex, here animals clearly have us beat. Almost all of them have the good sense to want it only at certain times of year. In other seasons they live free of the tormenting urges that account in one way or another for most of our gross national product. You would think, by the way, that with all our interest in sex we would enjoy it more than we do. As the poet Howard Nemerov puts it, "We think about sex obsessively except/During the act, when our minds tend to wander."

b) as an English professor, doesn't know much about animals: dolphins engage in sex for fun!

3) spiritual nature—psychic sex in Another Mother Tongu by Judy Grahn and chakra orgasm in Vedic practices = connections that connect us more deeply to all of life.

C. Relish—

1) to truly celebrate one's ability to respond and to connect

2) if not ecstatic, then fulfilling: relaxing, connecting quote from St. Augustine: "Lord give me chastity - but not yet."

III. CONCLUSION:

A. Sex=generativity

1) many ways to bring one's unique self into manifestation in the world.

2) also through mental creativity

3) action in the world: opportunities to experience one's power through groups - committees, conversation, interest groups